My grief has been really strong since Jo Jo's death -- I have not been writing out my thoughts as I had once done.
Strange I want to call it 'passing' but it is what it is. She died.......
She has not passed for me, she is still here living inside my heart; a part of my soul.
Each time I go to Three Rivers, the graveyard in which she was buried; I say hello to her - the memory of a friendship. Sometimes, my five year old out of the blue will ask.
"Did she have white hair? "
Yes she did, chemo helped the graying process.
"Did she die from cancer?"
Yes, she did.
"Is cancer a virus in her body?"
Yes, it is.
Then his mind drifts off to five year old thought processes. I am left remembering.
It is hard for me to connect to people and develop bonds. Twenty years of military service harded my ability to develop lasting bonds due to military moves. I rarely make friends I feel safe enough to tell things to or want to listen to theirs. I am trying to grieve out my loss but, it still hurts almost 3 years later.
Each time I see her mother, Honey and Mr. Johnny. I am grateful, they still keep in contact with me.
Jo Jo, if you are listening.
I still love and cherish our friendship
Thursday, March 4, 2010
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