So I took a year to think

My grief has been really strong since Jo Jo's death -- I have not been writing out my thoughts as I had once done. 

Strange I want to call it 'passing' but it is what it is.  She died.......


She has not passed for me, she is still here living inside my heart; a part of my soul.


Each time I go to Three Rivers, the graveyard in which she was buried; I say hello to her - the memory of a friendship.  Sometimes, my five year old out of the blue will ask.       

"Did she have white hair? "


Yes she did, chemo helped the graying process. 


"Did she die from cancer?"


Yes, she did.


"Is cancer a virus in her body?"


Yes, it is.

Then his mind drifts off to five year old thought processes.  I am left remembering.
It is hard for me to connect to people and develop bonds. Twenty years of military service harded my ability to develop lasting bonds due to military moves. I rarely make friends I feel safe enough to tell things to or want to listen to theirs.  I am trying to grieve out my loss but, it still hurts almost 3 years later.

Each time I see her mother, Honey and Mr. Johnny.  I am grateful, they still keep in contact with me. 

Jo Jo, if you are listening.

I still love and cherish our friendship