Letter to self
We have talked about death and recognize the possibility. We promised each other no tears, lamenting, or sadness. Jo Jo needs this as armor to fight the good fight. This is the manner she chooses to deal with her own spiritual healing. I will be there when she needs me and as she needs me. I promise not to invade her life or be intrusive. Quietly, I watch and see the changes: the lines in her face, fatigue, stooped posture, slow movements and lack of appetite. I see her struggle with pain as cancer moves into her bones.
I sit with her and see how the medications are not turning down the blare of pain’s beating drum. For the first time, I have seen her use a cane with a wheel chair waiting in the shadows. I must mark here: never once in the last 15 months have I heard her stay: ENOUGH.
She continues to smile, pray and watch her family go through their changes in life. This week she will be making a journey to see her daughter marry. Dixie is now 19 years old, and her son Ford is 2 years old. Jo Jo’s family will also make the trip to Edna with Beau her son at her side. While she is away, I will be researching and finding information to bring her relief. This amazing woman lives in such a scared place in my heart. I can not imagine how she became so strong, independent, wise and loving. I only hope one day I will gain some of her gentle spirit to guide my way.
I love you, Jo Jo!
Love, Hugs and Kisses,
Nekkid Chicken
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