Beating Hearts, July 10th, 2007

Beating Hearts behind the Computer Screens
10 July 2007

First off, I want to say thank you, gentle reader for listening to my rambling on how I am dealing with my most precious friend’s journey. We just found out she has Stage IV breast cancer. This is her 3rd go around in less than 2 years.

Thanks to all the special people who have listened to me work out in my blog how I am going to continue to support my friend in her time of need. "My grief for the inevitable is something that I feel is my own baggage and would never pass that load onto my friend's already heavy pack." It is funny; we all log onto EBay everyday to SPAM or Play Double-Dare, Fight, Flame War (over really meaningless crap) and share small parts of our lives.

I have read everyone's comments and emails; it is a blessing to read that my words in this forum has brought people out and talking. In one email a point was made that I really believe it true. "More money is spent to find a cure for ---Bob's lack of erectile strength---" If drug companies put as much efforts into finding a cure for cancer instead of watching profit margins grow then many lives would and could be saved.

Then I also have taken note of how people without medical insurance get treated totally different than I do when seeking medical care. I have seen it with my own eyes in Emergency Rooms in 20 years of military service--when civilian hospitals were necessary. Now, folks in the medical career fields will deny this fact but, next time you are in a local emergency just pay attention to those around you. After a short time, you will also see what I have seen with my own eyes. I will probably site dates and references later.

I have to rage at the idea of "who in the Hell" gave medical administrators the authority to decided who is worthy of proper medical care and a meaningful life. I have also come to the realization how sheltered my life was in the military. Meaning, we took care of our own. In medical hospital for the most part people were equal when it came to medical staging, critical were seen first and given priority. (Although Dignitaries, Senators, Representatives and Generals where ushered into special wings.)

Sometimes I wonder and rage in my mind while trying to find medications and clinical trails to help my friend cope with her disease. Although, I never say "How did you not know?" Which in my mind is a kick in the gut? If you don't know what questions to ask then many believe you are ignorant? Two, I seen where finger pointing has been waged---"Do you smoke or been exposed to second hand smoke?"

Really, once cancer is running its course it is too late to bring that point up and only makes the patient feel even worse. In essence the speaker has just basically put the blame back on the patient. This brings up a point for me to ponder; do medical care providers ever understand the power of their words or actions? I am really aghast at the audacity of the medical community: what gives you the right to point fingers to place blame? One day dear medical personnel; you will be wearing a paper gown. Just mark my words. I am just tired---so I will stop here. And please remember---this is my journey and personal opinion.

I love you, Jo Jo!
Hugs, Love and Kisses,
Nekkid Chicken